MIEDO

Pregunté si tenías miedo y sin pensarlo dos veces dijiste – “no”. Hubiera querido creerte, pero volteaste a ver el suelo al responder.

Decidí formular de nuevo la pregunta, o más bien afirmar lo que en esos momentos alcanzaba a sentir cuando te tenía cerca de mí –“Tienes miedo” – asegurando que esta vez tus ojos se encontraran con los míos. Un silencio invadió el espacio entre los dos, cerraste tus ojos y al abrirlos de nuevo me tomaste la mano, me miraste fijamente, apretaste tus labios como intentando detener las palabras que estaban por salir de tu boca y escuché – “Tal vez”.

Todo este tiempo me cuestioné en qué momento había fallado, todos estos meses pensé que la del problema era yo, que te había dado señales equivocadas, que había hecho algo que no te había gustado, que mi forma de ser no te había agradado pero ahora sé que no soy yo, eres tú.

KARMA POLICE...WHERE ARE YOU???

Me fui sin desayunar, me meti un pantalón y la primer blusa que encontré en cuanto colgué con esa llamada que me llenó de coraje y me revolvió el estómago...

Había vidrios y cristales por todo el suelo, ropa revuelta, la registradora vacía y un que otro curioso preguntando detalles como si yo supiera por ejemplo "a qué hora fue"...

El policía levantando la declaración, le sonó su celular y traía de canción la de "Niuna sola palabra.." (Paulina Rubio)...

El otro día leí que si no existieran los robos de ningún tipo el costo de vida promedio a nivel mundial bajaría 20%...

Qué buen puente del 20 de Noviembre...

WHAT I CAN’T HAVE… THAT’S MY BIGGEST WISH

I don’t understand what the hell it’s going on with me. Before you came along, I had everything a woman of my age would desire:

* A great family, that loves me no matter what.
* A wonderful circle of friends, who supports me at anytime.
* A perfect health, well… almost perfect.
* A successful job, which offers me an everyday challenge.
* A big home, that I can call my own.
* A good car, which takes me to all these unexpected places.
* A closet filled with clothes, shoes and matching purses to create the looks I want.
* A box fully stocked with earrings, bracelets and necklaces… drawers full of multicolored make-up (Okay maybe I don’t have the most expensive ones but they are still a lot).

I was complete!

I met you, spent time with you, and reminded me how it feels to have “someone”. I believed in you, I fell for you, I thought I could be with you; I created an image of you. I idealized you, I made up “happy-ending-stories” in my mind with you, I thought and planned EVERYTHING around you and then… you changed your mind.

After you came along… I only have:

* A great family
* A wonderful circle of friends
* A perfect health
* A successful job
* A big home
* A good car
* A closet filled with clothes, shoes and matching purses
* A box fully stocked with earrings, bracelets and necklaces… drawers full of multicolored make-up

But I don’t have you... and every time I think about it, I feel that something inside of me it’s missing. I breathe, but the air it’s not enough, I need to try harder because I feel that my heart can’t pump enough blood to my body because part of it it’s gone.

I know, sounds lame, sounds tacky, sounds very cheesy… sounds like a cheap romantic poem but that’s how I feel. It hurts a lot.

I wish… really wish you would be the type of guy who really wanted to break my heart. I wish you would be the type of guy who was not honest with me and started going out with other girls behind my back, I wish you would be the type of guy who does not deserve any tear from my eyes but I know I rather wish that you would be here with me.


P.S. I couldn't remember how it feels to have a broken heart... but I do now.

PEDAZOS DE VIDA...