WHAT I CAN’T HAVE… THAT’S MY BIGGEST WISH

I don’t understand what the hell it’s going on with me. Before you came along, I had everything a woman of my age would desire:

* A great family, that loves me no matter what.
* A wonderful circle of friends, who supports me at anytime.
* A perfect health, well… almost perfect.
* A successful job, which offers me an everyday challenge.
* A big home, that I can call my own.
* A good car, which takes me to all these unexpected places.
* A closet filled with clothes, shoes and matching purses to create the looks I want.
* A box fully stocked with earrings, bracelets and necklaces… drawers full of multicolored make-up (Okay maybe I don’t have the most expensive ones but they are still a lot).

I was complete!

I met you, spent time with you, and reminded me how it feels to have “someone”. I believed in you, I fell for you, I thought I could be with you; I created an image of you. I idealized you, I made up “happy-ending-stories” in my mind with you, I thought and planned EVERYTHING around you and then… you changed your mind.

After you came along… I only have:

* A great family
* A wonderful circle of friends
* A perfect health
* A successful job
* A big home
* A good car
* A closet filled with clothes, shoes and matching purses
* A box fully stocked with earrings, bracelets and necklaces… drawers full of multicolored make-up

But I don’t have you... and every time I think about it, I feel that something inside of me it’s missing. I breathe, but the air it’s not enough, I need to try harder because I feel that my heart can’t pump enough blood to my body because part of it it’s gone.

I know, sounds lame, sounds tacky, sounds very cheesy… sounds like a cheap romantic poem but that’s how I feel. It hurts a lot.

I wish… really wish you would be the type of guy who really wanted to break my heart. I wish you would be the type of guy who was not honest with me and started going out with other girls behind my back, I wish you would be the type of guy who does not deserve any tear from my eyes but I know I rather wish that you would be here with me.


P.S. I couldn't remember how it feels to have a broken heart... but I do now.