LIKE TWO DROPS OF WATER

I’m glad I finally met you and when this happened, I realized I’ve known you way before I even saw you for the first time. I walked by you every morning, hoping to get all your attention. I thought you never would, but as soon as I turned back, I could see you staring at me while I walked down the aisle.

I used to get intimidated by you. Isn’t that funny? I thought you were “the unreachable”: a perfect guy, the role model… the type of man who will not commit any mistakes. Smart and ambitious; strong temper but sweet; strict but with good sense of humor; impeccable and organized; methodical and detail oriented… Someone who fights against all odds to achieve his goals; to be better than others and even better than yourself.

I really think I admired your courage, your passion; your fearless look… your security, your ideas… YOU.

You talked to me, and even that I heard that speech before on the lips of many other men, I believed you. Am I a fool? Part of me wants to think that you were honest but I’m not totally sure. Your egocentrism and selfishness overrides all the other things I saw in you. You are so full of yourself.

I got devastated when I realized you changed your mind. It’s not that I was in love with you or something like that, but you hurt my pride when I actually had the willingness to open my heart to someone else after all these years. My devastation didn’t last more than 24 hours though. I decided to take charge of my life and if this “thing” needed to end, was going to end my way.

I bumped into you, like every day, but this time, I was not intimidated by you. You couldn’t look to me into the eye, you blushed and with that gesture, my unbreakable idol fell apart into small pieces in front of my sight. You were vulnerable, and that is the second when you realized this “project” was out of your control.

If everything is under control, you are the most secure person in the world. If you cannot take charge of a variable or if an external agent gets into your organized world, you start hesitating and you don’t know how to react. You want to run away because your fearless heart and mind are not fearless as they used to. Your heartbeat increases, you can barely breathe. You want to run away but since there is no way out, you decide to fight it anyway.

You became confused, insecure, and susceptible. There is when I thought: “I’m glad I finally met YOU”.

That was you, exposed, no barriers, and no walls around your heart. Your armor fell apart; your shield was dropped as soon as I start talking to you. You may say this is not true, but I saw the fear in your eyes. You couldn’t even hide it by looking down. I wanted to hug you… but I couldn’t. Your vulnerability made me vulnerable. There is when I thought: “I’m glad I finally met ME”.

That was the end of everything. When I described you; I noticed I was describing me as well. We are not the same person, I know… but we are both alike and that really sucks!