marzo 30, 2007

ADDICTED

I knew since the beginning I was walking into a dangerous territory; I couldn’t resist finding out if the urban stories about it were true. I refused to do it in the first place but the temptation that was flirting with me for the last months was sitting in front of me carrying a huge invisible banner that said: “Take me!” and so I did.

I was scared but as soon as I start feeling the blood flowing through my veins, my heartbeat increased and the acute sensation in my body was taking over my mind and my will power that I decided to surrender before its peculiar charm. It was a great experience I can’t deny it but its bitter sweet aftertaste keeps me wonder if it was worth it.

When I’m under its influence I feel like I’m the best in the world, like I can’t be better and I can stay around it for the rest of my life. When I’m not close to it, I’m “okay”. I know there is something missing but I know I can survive without that thing but… let’s talk when I’m in between those two stages: I’m miserable.

I can’t sleep, I can’t think straight, I can’t stay by myself because I feel I’d go crazy without it and that’s when I run again to get some more. I just can’t keep living this way and when I finally decided to stay away from it. Something else happens and the temptation it’s back again in front of my eyes.

Seriously, I can’t take this anymore; I can’t be pushed away from my life just because of this. I’m tired and I’m sick and I’m just realizing there is no rehab program for my condition. I can’t be around this drug anymore; I have to be strong… I think I'll be better off without you.

marzo 03, 2007

RAPUNZEL

I’m Rapunzel and I’d like to unveil the truth about the fairy tale of all times. As most people might know, I’m the beautiful girl who lives in the tallest tower of a faraway land where an evil witch locked me up until the end of my life.

You know what? There is no witch. I’m the one who decided to stay away from this world, from my own life because I was very tired of getting hurt all the time. I know I sound like a coward, a woman who is not willing to face few obstacles along the way but… it is just to let my heart rest for a while.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair, so that I may climb the golden stair”. I let you climb the stair and when you finally got there, you changed your mind and decided to turn your back on me. I got so upset! And as a way to protect myself from you, I cut my hair off hoping that you would never be around my heart.

You managed to find a ladder to reach my window for the second time. Why deny it? I’m happy again, I like to have you around, I like to feel your arms wrapping my body… but you know what? This time, no matter what, if you EVER decide to hurt me like you did before, I won’t hesitate to push away that ladder without caring that you will still standing on top.

I locked up myself away because of you, and now you are trying to find the key for that lock.